And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
(via crystallized-teardrops)
(via 1djustice)
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do
(via acornerofruthiesmind)
(via acornerofruthiesmind)
jakeandladyrainicornslovechild:
Woody was the first person to have sass and his sass will forever be better than anyone else’s sass.
(via e-f-g-h-i-j-iloveyou)
(via crystallized-teardrops)
i kept bugging my mom about not buying me my favorite popsicles
and she kept saying “lacey i will buy them i will buy them relax”
and i came home one day and my mom was like “i bought popsicles”
so i go to the fridge and open the freezer omg
why did you do this
mom i know u can hear me
wHY
WHY TELL ME
HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND THIS MANY TO BUY AT ONE TIME OMG
I JUST NEEDED TO BRING THIS BACK
(via crystallized-teardrops)
oh how the times have changed
This is definitely worth reblogging.
i reblog this every time
Am I the only one who hates this photo? It’s still discrimination against certain women, and there is absolutely no difference between the medias intentions demonstrated in this photo as there is in the medias actions these days.
This advertisement is still telling girls that their body is ‘wrong’. That if you’re skinny, then you aren’t beautiful, and the only way to have this beauty is to gain another 10 pounds.
This isnt a positive advertisement, this is no better than the advertisements that are continuously complained about these days! Because this exact thing is still occurring, except the roles are reversed. Instead of fat being considered beautiful, skinny is.
Yet we believe that this ad is somehow less bad and even better than the ones we are shown now just because its not forcing us to be skinny. But the fact that its trying to make us look a certain way is the reason why it’s wrong, not the way it’s telling us to look.
The problem here isn’t how much we weigh or what we look like. The problem is that the media still portrays the idea that beauty is on the outside, and that your weight must be a specific number, and that isn’t how it should be.
(via crystallized-teardrops)
I once met a girl with 12 nipples.
Sounds funny.
Dozen tit?
Excuse you.
(via acornerofruthiesmind)
long-romantic-walk-to-the-fridge:
I am obsessed with all of these urls
(via acornerofruthiesmind)
